Vysoké Tatry, Slovakia
49.1696402,20.2148167
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"Go back to your own country!" I yell at a White person. All of a sudden, their body starts to divide. 45% of their body flies to Italy. 16% goes back to Germany. 7% flies to Slovakia. 12% flies back to Russia. .45775097% leaves for Croatia. 19.5533% flies back to a Native American reserve in the Midwest.
having periods is not a women’s thing
having uterus is not a women’s thing
giving birth is not a women’s thing
you are completely valid if you’re a woman who doesn’t have/do these things
you are 100% valid if you’re a man who has/does these things
you are super valid if you’re a non-binary person who has/does or doesn’t have/do these things
Fact: any legend about a holy sword can be improved by 200% by replacing the sword with an axe and making no other changes.
Lady of the lake tosses Axcalibur at King Arthur, killing him instantly
There’s another reblog of this post that implies that knights who wield axes are secretly just lumberjacks, and it combined with this one in my brain to create an AU where the Lady of the Lake is, like, a flannel-wearing lumberjack who lives by a lake. Her role in the story is otherwise unchanged.
the lesbian of the lake
The lesbian of the lake, her arm clad in the finest shimmering flannel, held aloft Axcalibur from the bosom of the water
That’s STILL no basis for a system of government!
hot take: jake peralta is bi and john mulaney plays his ex boyfriend from high school in season six of brooklyn nine-nine
john mulaney plays a rockin’ twink
John Mulaney: *to himself* What would Leonard Bernstein do?
Captain Holt: *to Jake, quietly* I support your and Amy’s relationship with my whole heart but why on earth would you give up a man like that
I don’t even go here (just like… my toes) and I want this, specifically with all these tages from @bosstoaster
#The episode would be Amy getting jealous not of John and Jake but that he has so many interests in common with Holt#So she spends the whole time trying to win back the Captain#Meanwhile Rosa is on a warpath at Jake#Because she told HIM about her sexuality and stuff and had EMOTIONS#And he didn’t tell HER#How DARE he
“look, it’s not like i hid anything, it just never came up!”
“You called yourself out for ‘straighsplaining’“
the whole bi thing goes completely over charles’ head and he keeps getting really aggro like “oh you and jake were real close huh?? too bad, sucker jake is MY best friend!”
everybody else is like “charles no”
at the end john mulaney turns out to be the embezzler they’ve been looking for
The only way Jake Overshare Peralta, Jake TMI Peralta, Jake Heart-On-His-Sleeve Peralta would fail to bring up the fact that he is bi, is if he himself were oblivious to the fact.
Come on @morthils this isn’t Gina Linetti we’re talking about. Stay in character.
The only way Jake would have had a high school boyfriend and not told Amy and Holt is if Jake himself did not realize that this dude was his boyfriend.
He would describe the relationship to Amy and she’d be like, “So you guys were dating” and he’d be like “It wasn’t like that that” and she’d be like:
:|
and Jake would be like, OH MY GOD. I HAD A BOYFRIEND IN HIGH SCHOOL. WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME THIS.
Lots of “practice kissing” was involved.
Jake’s mom is absolutely That Overly Supportive Parent with the bumper sticker and the flag who never actually like, talks to her son about it.
“I just thought she was really liberal!”
“Look, everyone has celebrity crushes! Like the entire cast of Infinity War. And some male models. And random good looking people on the street. And sometimes you’re handcuffing a guy with his hands in front and you lock eyes and your faces are close and you can smell his cologne and aftershave and ohhhh ok yup I see it now. Cool. Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool. Yeah, I’m definitely bi.”
